Here We Go
Something isn't right. My energy and the way I'm feeling about a lot of things is weighing on me. I'm like in a dark space. I don't really have an outlet in Las Vegas. Actually I don't. I've secluded myself from anything thats not photography related. Nothing else. I know if I just stay in my lane, that the things I can achieve will come.
I left Texas in 2013 to take a Regional Sales role in Chicago, overseeing everything from Rockford down southeast to Southloop, and all the way up to five locations in Milwaukee. Old wireless nerd. But learned a ton about serving others and leading a team. More importantly, I was like a hound chasing a number. And I always hit my numbers. I wanted to prove that I could run things on my own, so I took a journey. I got this quote from Rick, I think it was from Charlie Rose, it said, I've Learned More In My Life From Saying Yes! So when the offer was final, I knew I was going.
I bring that up for this reason. The longer I've stayed away form Texas, the lonelier I seem to get. Meaning, all the homies are still back home. Spread out in SA, Houston, Austin...I just don't can't pull up, have a been in the back yard, roll one, just shot the shit. Its different when your with people you grew up with. Not close with my immediate family, just my Dad's side in S.C. I feel home there too. Actually more than Texas since i've left.
I chased things I knew I could get. I loved being number one on those reports, and leading conference calls. But then it grew to every weekend, no kids, they know that. I was a yes guy. But very good. But very bored of the same thing. It wasn't until I got to Denver that I struggled with hitting my number. In my defense, HQ didn't listen. They never do really. I'm in Colorado. People smoke out here, I smoke. But I can still do my job. I'm losing all my new hires during the drug test portion. It comes out of my P&L. They fail....Repeat. Let's change to cotton swab test like Costco, our partners, nope say HQ. But Costco hires the people that failed my drug test because they will pass theirs. Thanks Willie. That took about a year. Then hit ejecto to Las Vegas, July 18, 2018. Cool story there sometime.
Anyway....I'm feeling kind of lost. Lots of negative energy out there testing me. I've been in the Book of Job and have been using this app called Logos Bible to help me. I'm working on my relationship with God. I know that with him in my corner, I am capable of all things. But I'm also a huge energy person. I feed of energy of others. Is that bad? I love shooting sports and being around the kiddos. But then a massively over introvert when I'm not shooting anything. Mike's not here. He's still in Dirty Myrtle. Theres other photographers out here I'm cool with. But....I still always feel theres this sort of competition thing going on between others in the industry and politics and drama. And i'm tired of that shit. Everywhere. So thats tough sometimes.
I don't and wont be like everyone else. I'm still human. Something inside me is changing. I'm not holding weight, but i'm feeling healthy. Something out there, some kind of energy is, I just don't know. Tearing at me. So i've decided to write as my outlet. I Love being a photographer. It just gets lonely sometime. I get paid to provide a service then its like you don't exist after that sometimes. On to the next. That why I always go to Bellagio to shoot. I can get lost in the people and still have fun. Drama follows out there too bc other jealous photographers. But they have to deal with that. I'll get back on track. I'm hoping this writing thing helps.
